Saturday, January 29, 2022

Bad News - Good News

This column is entitled "Bad News, Good News" because, well, bad news (for me I guess and the dreams of like maybe 4 other people) I will be staying home in this snowy hell lovely Maine this weekend while we get battered by winter storm Surtur.
The accuracy of that meme, man. The good news: You get a column. Lucky, lucky you.

Maybe you saw me here:

Or read about me here:

Or you followed me here because I usually have decent video on my Twitter page:

Whatever road you traveled here, thanks for dropping by. With the 49ers getting ready to head to LeFi, I decided to go back 40 years to 1982. The final four of San Diego vs Cincinnati and San Francisco vs Dallas. While we know what happened with SF and Dallas, if Twitter existed then...or First Bad Takes or whatever stupid ass shows y'all watch for whatever reason I truly do not know, the popular opinion match-up was Dan Fouts and the Chargers vs Tom Landry's Cowboys. The bright young QB Star vs America's team. Except, it didn't happen. Dwight Clark and Eric Wright got the 49ers to the Super Bowl later in the afternoon. But earlier in the day, the Chargers, coming off of an 84 degree shootout w/ Miami, had to go to Cincy and play in -59 windchill. 25 mph winds. Dan Fouts' passes were only missing quacking sounds and feathers. Ken Anderson would have aged 25 years that day if he didn't already look 25 years older than he was. In spite of a godawful holding call on a fake field goal, the Bengals covered the 4.5 point spread and kept it under the 45 point total. (WHO ON THE PLANET THOUGHT -59 DEGREES WAS GOOD OVER WEATHER???)
I thought last week in Lambeau was cold, but my goodness I would a wear a golden banana hammock in last weekend's weather before I would go out -59 below in anything other than scubagear and a snowsuit.

Weird-ass connections with this 2021-22 Final Four vs 81-82 Final Four: San Diego had a safety in Glen Edwards starting that they lured out of retirement (Hello Eric Weddle in LA) 3 of the 4 QB's in 81 had been coached by Bill Walsh (Fouts in '76, Anderson from 71-75, Montana 80-that particular present). In 2021-22, all teams have branches of the Walsh-Holmgren-Shanahan vineyard. The Bengals head coach is the former Rams QB coach, the Rams head coach is the 49ers head coach's former quality control expert, and the KC head coach is who got started under Walsh's former OC Mike Holmgren (who prevented Reid from becoming SF OC in 1997, fun fact). Basically, the Walsh variants are everywhere. What would it be like if Joe Montana played for the Bengals and Ken Anderson players for the Niners? Well, I guess we are looking at it. I am not sure if Spider-Man is causing this multiverse season for the Niners, but think about it: Their archrivals throughout the years all show up this year: Cincy (which needed an extra game added and a weird way of deciding the game to even be on the schedule); Dallas, Green Bay, the Rams. The Rams have been their rival since 1950, and of course since the Week 18 Invasion/Takeover/Sea of Red Water Park, this thing has plenty of juice. Oh, and the whole Kyle and Jimmy never losing to McVay thing. Now it's either a Cincy rematch by swapping QB's from 40 years ago, or a chance to vanquish the KC demons. Oh, and slide in a Joe vs Steve dynamic with Jimmy v. Trey (in fan's minds, anyways) to sprinkle that tiny bit of '88 in for good measure. I wonder how much Bill Walsh would have been ripped on Twitter? 9ers over Bengals in the Super Bowl is +1400 on DK, in case you were wondering.

Predictions for the weekend:

Bengals 34 , KC 20 KC should win this game. Steve Spags' defenses have put quarterbacks into the turf who are better than Joe Burrow on many an occasion. Yet...this dude got sacked 900 times last week. Still won. Cincy defense playing well, fairly healthy, has already played KC this year, which helps them understand the speed/Mahomesness a little better than another team. Watch the Cincy running game or 2nd/3rd receiver be the stars of the game. There's all this talk about the world being put back on its axis if the 49ers beat the Chiefs, but do we get a redo of the last 40 years if the Bengals beat the Niners (which is +2000 on DK right now)?

49ers 23 Rams 13 3 Robbie Gould field goals, an Elijah Mitchell touchdown run, and a Kyle Jusczyk touchdown catch for the 9ers. Cooper Kupp with a late TD catch, and whoever kicks for the Rams with 2 field goals. It shouldn't be like this. The Rams should be a better team by a mile. But this 49ers team is running on spite right now. Full spite. Like Stone Cold at the 98 Rumble. A team that has a 40 year stretch of misery with special teams wins a playoff game specifically because of special teams? Sure. Now if you will excuse me, I have to manifest enough good energy to get to Los Angeles in 2 weeks and be able to see the game without binoculars or while watching on a black and white TV in an RV in the parking lot.

PS: If the 49ers lose I promise you it will be because of a garbage-ass call. Circa 1983.

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